you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
