once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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