i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
