If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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