I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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