Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
