some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize