is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
