Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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