The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
apparently the secret to your success is patron
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
