he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
