Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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