If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
