I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
