I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
