this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
