Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
