I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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