since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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