i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
