Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
