didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
