By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
