matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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