Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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