Say something about gay babies.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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