how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
