i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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