dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Randomize
