He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
it was like his penis was on wheels.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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