I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
