I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
