alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
