Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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