Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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