He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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