Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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