Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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