you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
