I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
