she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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