the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
