apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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