careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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