I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
