I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
