(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
