Jerry, you need to find god
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
