I cockslap morals
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Randomize
