I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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