do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
True college students do jello shots in the library
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
