I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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