i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
