Its about making memories worth repressing
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize