Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I cannot find my penis.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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