u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I want to fling myself into the sun
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
