If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
