Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I have post one night stand depression
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