I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
