I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
