At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
