I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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