He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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