I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize