I wish life had little blips of pornography
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
