so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
