I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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