dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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